Nolan (nolan_ash) wrote in inclusive_geeks,
Nolan
nolan_ash
inclusive_geeks

The food sucks and the portions are HUGE...

Uh-oh. Grumpy Blizzard programmers griping about each other. I thought Brevik (Diablo creator) was pretty diplomatic about voicing his disappointment with how Diablo 3 (which he didn't work on) turned out. The D3 programming team cursing at him on FaceBook?--not so professional.

Diablo 3 is pretty bad. =/ Lots of people complain about the loot system (and the loot system is disappointing), but that's not what broke the game for me. The game designers obviously were in love with the story they wrote, but the story sucks, and the gameplay mashes it in players' faces.

A lot of games allow players to skip (or at least quickly click through) dialog and story events they don't want to listen to. That's a good marketing strategy to appeal to gamers who don't want to read more than a couple sentences of text at a time. It's also a kindness to those of us who enjoy reading, but don't want to be forced to read the story when it's salt-in-the-eyes terrible.

Diablo 3 is a short game. It's meant to be played multiple times on multiple difficulties (Normal, Nightmare, Hell, and Inferno) and with different character classes (playing through the game as a monk will yield a very different experience than playing as a wizard or a demon hunter.) So if game designers hope that players to go through the story 20 times (4 difficulties, 5 classes), then don't make us listen to the same awful dialog every time!

A lot of it you can't click through. You've got to stand their and listen to the stilted lines. And even when you can skip these scenes, it pulls control away from the player for a moment, launches into the start of the scene, then you desperately hit the "escape" key and return to what you were doing. It ruins immersion just knowing that the game had to briefly demand your attention, like an attention-starved kid saying, "Watch me, Mom! Watch me!" over and over before doing a shitty cartwheel.

Many times, an image of an upcoming boss will materialize in thin air and follow the player around, delivering cheesy ominous, "I'm gonna get you" lines. It completely ruins any sense of suspense for the battle to come, and makes the monsters seem less like something to fear and more like an obnoxious kid brother. "Shoo! Just shut up and leave me alone, would you?" the player pleads. But no. The apparition follows, yammering on, until every line of craptastic dialog is delivered.

Predictably, the story contains serious issues with women. Nearly every woman character's identity centers on their role as a harlot, someone's mother, or someone's wife, confirming that the writers can't really think of women as people in their own right--their identity has to be attached to the role they play to a male character. (Does anyone think Leah's character developed into something more than "Deckard's niece"?) When I'm traversing a dungeon that's 6 levels deep, I really don't want to hear Cydaea, Azmodan's concubine, moaning some flesh-crawling sexual double entendre at the start of each level. ={

Please, for the love of grapes, Blizzard, allow gamers to turn off the shitty story. If your atrocious writers really must rub their boring sexist nonsense in gamers faces, let it only be on the first play-through, just like tutorial text. I don't know of anyone who liked this story on the first play-through, let alone the fourteenth. ~_~

Have you played Diablo 3? What did you find disappointing?
Tags: sexism
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